my next life skill

I've finally had a chance to sit and reflect on some of the happenings in my life this past month. Albeit, these moments of reflection only happened because I had a 30 minute T-ride, but at this point of the semester, I take any chance I get to think about something other than school, comps or PRAXIS! With how busy and stressed I've been this past month, I've noticed a terrible want of insight into my personal life recently, which resulted in 2 weeks of headaches and sinus pain before I realized I had a serious sinus infection requiring antibiotics, three weeks since I saw my sister-in-law, three weeks and counting since I've seen my brothers, and fortunately only two weeks since I've seen Erin and Zach. In just a few minutes, I'm headed over to their home for Zach's phenomenal curry, chapatis, excellent conversation, an adorable baby who has won my heart, and hopefully a game of Ticket to Ride.

So, before I go, some reflections from this past month:

This week I was asked if I thought there were any cultural differences between Seattle and Boston. Sometimes I am unnerved by the differences I see. People can be incredibly rude in Boston, because they have little to no discretion or inhibition, nor do they seem to care or feel the need to camouflage their feelings. People in Seattle are typically very nice...sometimes to the point of passive aggression, but I rarely see displays of anger in Seattle, and as a transplanted Washingtonian, it makes me incredibly uncomfortable when I am anywhere near such a scene. Given my former critique of Bostonians, I need to add that I am often surprised by the novelty and grandeur of their acts of kindness...I've grown to love beantown, and Bostonians.

Even with these "cultural" differences, I am always amazed that people have such universal personalities. Oh, yes, people are unique. But people are also very similar in many ways. I think we like to think we are more different than we actually are. (I'm open to criticisms of that thought, so please critique as you feel the need.)

I've decided that the next life skill I need to acquire is how to take photos without the person(s) noticing. I have seen so many strange, often amusing things this past week...some were rather disturbing now that I think of it. Some I can't even begin to write about, because of the inability to describe what I've seen, and the indelicacy it would require. To do so would be to expose my own prejudices that I typically try to keep reserved. I know I'm being vague, but it's very intentional. As I already said, to share some of my observations from this past week would place me an uncomfortable position....However, let me just say...Judgments aside, I wish there were some way to upload images and sound bites from my brain to you...then you could see for yourself how ridiculous these scenes have been!

So, with those thoughts finally out of my mind, let me catch you up on my daily life. I have class one day a week where I attend class from 9am to 8pm (and I've already completed 2 classes this semester! Only four left to finish), 3 days of clinical placement at an early intervention clinic (which I LOVE!), and one day where I work on a "diagnostic" team...aka, we prepare for many hours on a weekly basis for 2 hours of actual testing with a client every three weeks. Weeknights and weekends I spend simply trying to finish all my homework and I study for my comprehensive exams (aka "comps") and PRAXIS (aka "boards") during the leftover time, which isn't much. Overall, it's exhausting. I am exhausted. I've somehow fit in the time to apply for jobs and have "interviews" over the phone, which has been encouraging, and a good prompt for studying for my comps! I also applied to graduate (!!!), bought my Masters' gown and hood, and registered for all of my exams (I think it takes a Masters to just negotiate all those pages required to register!). Hundreds of dollars and countless web pages later, it looks like an end is in sight! I will actually graduate with a Masters of Science in a field I love, and hope to make a difference in. Some day soon I'll try to blog about why I love Speech-Language Pathology, and will attempt a definition of and then an argument for why I think that Early Intervention programs deserve more federal funding. But that'll come at a much later date...I'm not sure I have the brain power for that now, and any brain power I do have should probably be dedicated to the ten page paper I need to write tomorrow...

amos, sing me home.

tomorrow is the last day i'll be in Seattle...for an undetermined amount of time. I don't know when I'll next be back...it really just depends on what I decide to do with my life after graduation from grad school...so who really knows?

goodbye my beloved PNW...for now.

well halle-freakin-lujah.

for those of you who read my blog, i apologize that nothing interesting has been put here recently. to be honest, my brain power is pretty limited these days. for the past five weeks or so, i have been writing papers, studying, cramming knowledge into my brain....trying to sleep, rest, and eat...and all in a 24 hour day. It's been a nightmare of work. I wake up thinking about Aphasia or cysts on the vocal folds, and fall asleep thinking about the impending doom of a test, or worse--how those cysts formed on the vocal folds. I know: ewww.

But halle-freakin-lujah! The end is in sight! My last final is Monday night, and I just have a few more assignments/paperwork to finish before then. I can't even begin to describe how excited I am. And I literally mean "can't". Don't have the brain power anymore!

And, I want to add that in spite of how crazy my life has been these past few weeks, I am SO BLESSED. My brothers live here, my sister-in-law lives here, one of my best friends lives here, and I am so grateful for my grad school friends.

xmas

well, well, well, blogging world, it has been quite some time since i visited you.

but i visit now with this lovely and comforting christmas carol [with a few personal comments in the margins]:

God rest you merry, Gentlemen, [oh where are you sweet, sweet rest and sleep?]
Let nothing you dismay, [like finals?]
For Jesus Christ our Savior
Was born upon this Day. [yay Christmas is near!!!]
To save us all from Satan's power,
When we had gone astray. [yup]
O' tidings of comfort and joy.
Comfort and joy. [the end is in sight]

today

"Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul...whenever my hypos get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people’s hats off—then, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can. This is my substitute for pistol and ball. With a philosophical flourish Cato throws himself upon his sword; I quietly take to the ship." -Moby Dick

okay boston, i'm back.

let the adventures begin....starting with a hurricane.

to hell with the red wine! pour me some moonshine.

I'm not gonna lay around and whine and moan
Cause somebody done done me wrong.
Don't think for a minute
that I'm gonna sit around and sing some old sad song.
I believe it's half-full, not a half-empty glass.
Every day I wake up knowing it could be my last.

I ain't here for a long time, I'm here for a good time.
So bring on the sunshine, to hell with the red wine!
Pour me some moonshine.
When I'm gone put it in stone: "she left nothin behind".
I ain't here for a long time, I'm here for a good time.


I decided this may become my life theme song.

Last night I had a much awaited chat with d.robe, a man who I appreciate, love and will miss as he steps into the next phase of his life. But d.robe will succeed at anything he attempts to do, because he's amazing. d.robe is one of those friends I can easily bounce back into our wonderful relationship with--we only see each other a few times a year now, but it seems like we were never apart. Conversation flows easily, we understand each other nearly perfectly, he challenges me to be a better me merely by his example, and encourages me more than I could ever thank him for.

When I told d.robe that I was getting ready to come back to Seattle to "settle down", he challenged me asking "but are you really ready to settle down? C.rich, are you actually ready to settle down?" I thought about it and realized: "HECK NO." As I thought about it more, I realized that though I do miss Seattle and I want to make it my home once again, I will never settle down...and when I say "never", I mean, not for a while at least. My heart is too wild, my imagination too vivid, and my passion for knowledge unquenchable. It's a blessing and a curse of my family. My twin brother is the same way...we are always seeking. I mean, c'mon, I read about sharks while I'm bored in class, just to learn whatever random knowledge I can.

So this conversation set my brain to a new path and lots of memories arose. My dad once told me that I am just like the NASA Space Shuttle Challenger. He said that I had potential but I "too often waited for others to punch the button to launch." Mr. Ian, one of the most influential teachers I've ever had, told me something similar: "you don't seize opportunities to lead, but you will step up to the plate if you sense you're needed." Well, in classic-Charlotte-fashion, I've been thinking about those comments quite a lot and for a few years.

I've realized that these comments challenged me to grow. I am a patient person, but I'm no longer the type of woman who will sit and wait for things to happen to me...I've started to seize every opportunity that comes. Example? Grad school. Moving across the country for two years. Road trip to CT to look at a book? Sure, why not?

Now, I understand that this may not be a big deal for most people....other people are probably more spontaneous than I am, and are used to this. But for me--this is a big change. I've made a lot of big changes in my life these past few years, and I love it. I do miss my friends and family and home in Washington State, but I love what I'm doing. I love exploring new states, new cities, places I've only heard and dreamed about. I feel free to dream. But unlike before, I don't want to just dream. I want to do. I want to go. So I will. And I am.