okay boston, i'm back.

let the adventures begin....starting with a hurricane.

to hell with the red wine! pour me some moonshine.

I'm not gonna lay around and whine and moan
Cause somebody done done me wrong.
Don't think for a minute
that I'm gonna sit around and sing some old sad song.
I believe it's half-full, not a half-empty glass.
Every day I wake up knowing it could be my last.

I ain't here for a long time, I'm here for a good time.
So bring on the sunshine, to hell with the red wine!
Pour me some moonshine.
When I'm gone put it in stone: "she left nothin behind".
I ain't here for a long time, I'm here for a good time.


I decided this may become my life theme song.

Last night I had a much awaited chat with d.robe, a man who I appreciate, love and will miss as he steps into the next phase of his life. But d.robe will succeed at anything he attempts to do, because he's amazing. d.robe is one of those friends I can easily bounce back into our wonderful relationship with--we only see each other a few times a year now, but it seems like we were never apart. Conversation flows easily, we understand each other nearly perfectly, he challenges me to be a better me merely by his example, and encourages me more than I could ever thank him for.

When I told d.robe that I was getting ready to come back to Seattle to "settle down", he challenged me asking "but are you really ready to settle down? C.rich, are you actually ready to settle down?" I thought about it and realized: "HECK NO." As I thought about it more, I realized that though I do miss Seattle and I want to make it my home once again, I will never settle down...and when I say "never", I mean, not for a while at least. My heart is too wild, my imagination too vivid, and my passion for knowledge unquenchable. It's a blessing and a curse of my family. My twin brother is the same way...we are always seeking. I mean, c'mon, I read about sharks while I'm bored in class, just to learn whatever random knowledge I can.

So this conversation set my brain to a new path and lots of memories arose. My dad once told me that I am just like the NASA Space Shuttle Challenger. He said that I had potential but I "too often waited for others to punch the button to launch." Mr. Ian, one of the most influential teachers I've ever had, told me something similar: "you don't seize opportunities to lead, but you will step up to the plate if you sense you're needed." Well, in classic-Charlotte-fashion, I've been thinking about those comments quite a lot and for a few years.

I've realized that these comments challenged me to grow. I am a patient person, but I'm no longer the type of woman who will sit and wait for things to happen to me...I've started to seize every opportunity that comes. Example? Grad school. Moving across the country for two years. Road trip to CT to look at a book? Sure, why not?

Now, I understand that this may not be a big deal for most people....other people are probably more spontaneous than I am, and are used to this. But for me--this is a big change. I've made a lot of big changes in my life these past few years, and I love it. I do miss my friends and family and home in Washington State, but I love what I'm doing. I love exploring new states, new cities, places I've only heard and dreamed about. I feel free to dream. But unlike before, I don't want to just dream. I want to do. I want to go. So I will. And I am.

"But when I point my head, everyone can see where I'm looking!"

...brilliantly spoken, Angi, brilliant.

In the wake of a road trip to MT, I decided to buy a headlamp. All the boys had one, and I was sad because I didn't have one. Unfortunately, though, my trip to the flagship REI inspired an all-out extravaganza of purchasing or (mostly) wish-listing items that I don't really have the time/opportunity to use or the money to buy!

But it inspired me to make a list of things I want to do with my to-be-acquired REI items, which I owe in part to Christye's blog about things she wants to do before she's 25. Well, I just turned 25, so that one's out, but I definitely want to make a list of various things I want to do before I turn 30. It's a combination of things to do on the East Coast, in between, and when I return to the PNW next year.

1. Go on a kayaking-camping trip.
1a. Buy a kayak.

2. Backpack the Cascade Loop.
2a. Buy a new sleeping bag since people keep taking mine!

3. Climb Rainier.

4. Finish grad school.

5. Completely pay off my student loans.

6. Explore NYC with Janae.

7. Stay in a cabin and snowshoe in Vermont or New Hampshire.

8. Visit the hospital in Tanzania ZW told me about.

9. Volunteer at the Special Olympics.

10. Go to a Dolly Parton concert--don't judge me. I will always love her no matter how wrong people think it is.

11. Finish reading through the Bible (I'm about 1/3 of the way through, but it's taken me a while to get that far!)

12. Visit Ireland, Scotland, & go back to England. Or Egypt & Israel. Or Greece. Or all of the above.

13. Drive across the USA and stop at Yonkers, Philly, Pittsburgh, Gettysburg, Chicago, any Minnesota city, somewhere in Iowa, Mount Rushmore, Bozeman, Yellowstone, Bend.

14. Live alone in a cabin on a lake by myself with a kayak and a fishing pole. Maine would be rad. I'd accept Oregon as a close second.

15. Fly fish in a river...I'm thinking somewhere near Snoqualmie Falls.

my old friend.

My old friend, I recall
The times we had are hanging on my wall
I wouldn't trade them for gold
Cause they laugh and they cry me and
somehow sanctify me
And they're woven in the stories I have told
And tell again

My old friend I apologize
For the years that have passed since the
last time you and I
Dusted off those memories
But the runnin' and the races and the
people and the places
there was always somewhere else i had to be
And time gets thin, my old friend

Don't know why, don't know why
Don't know why, don't know why

My old friend this song's for you
Cause a few simple verses was the least that I could do
To tell the world that you were here
'Cause the love and the laughter will live on long after
All of the sadness and the tears
We'll meet again my old friend

Goodbye, Goodbye
Goodbye, Goodbye

My old friend

summer.

As I sit here, staring at my to-do list, I suddenly realized: I have five weeks left to summer. FIVE. Even though the time is passing and the day of my departure from Seattle nears, I still have FIVE weeks left to burn and freckle my fair skin, study (two finals next week and one in a few weeks!), read, relax, enjoy my wonderful friends, eat berry pies, to drink PNW coffee, water, wine and beer...

A few days ago, I had this Debby downer moment...I've begun to realize how badly I want to be in my own apartment, with my things, with my own time and schedule, and working toward something I am passionate about, with the freedom to do as I will...and all of those things are in Boston. But eventually they will be in Seattle. And I don't really want to be in Boston (as much as I love it there and the wonderful people who await me...seriously, how lucky am I? My brothers, my sister-in-law, two of my best friends from college all live in Boston! Or near enough to it). But I want to be in Seattle. Which could be semi-permanently, obviously, because I don't really know where I want to be or should be at this point. Colorado is still calling to me sweetly, and a long trip to Europe is always on the back burner of my mind...not to mention southern Africa, where a special needs hospital pulls at my heart.

As the beloved TF used to quote, "this too shall pass." Eventually this particular period of life will be over, and I'll be moving on to another one. Please don't misunderstand me, I do love the period I'm in right now. I think, though, that the Someone who knows me well is lighting a fire under my feet, preparing me for the next step, just as He did when He prepared me for moving to Boston a few years ago...it always starts as a slight discomfort which slowly develops into a temperately burning passion and desire...oxymoron? Maybe. But my whole being is an oxymoron, let's be honest.

returning to boston

just last week i was listing reasons to a friend regarding why i don't want to return to boston....but today i wanted to list some reasons i do want to return to boston, because, let's face it...i'm going back.

erin: my best friend from college now LIVES in boston, a mere 25 minute walk from me. and her beautiful baby. and her wonderful husband. so really, i cannot wait to be reunited with her.

janae: she has returned from the homeland and will be on the same coast with me, finally! i will be able to see her so often, it almost makes me cry, because i have missed her so much.

paul & lisa & nick: i miss them.

cambridgeport: this lovely neighborhood will be home to me soon enough. besides my excitement to live with my two new roommates d&s, i will also be in the most perfect location...25 minutes from erin, a short T ride from paul at work, paul & lisa & nick at home, close to central/harvard/porter squares, close to my new favorite used bookstore, relatively close to bu sargent, close to the river....ah, i am so excited to walk by the river.

new friends in boston: i miss them too! i want to see them all.

fall in boston. leaf-peeping on the kangamangus highway.

winter in boston. the patriots. gosh, i love football. oh! hockey! bu hockey games.

the bu pub. the sam adams brewery!

the t...i miss you, T! your crowded, overly warm rides...oh how i miss you.

Remade.

You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

'Cause this is not about what you've done,
But what's been done for you.
This is not about where you've been,
But where your brokenness brings you to

This is not about what you feel,
But what He felt to forgive you,
And what He felt to make you loved.

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

You've been remade.