the great Geometrizer or Vivisector?

“Someone said, I believe, ‘God always geometrizes.’ Supposing the truth were ‘God always vivisects’?”

Ever since I finished C.S. Lewis’ book, A Grief Observed, I’ve thought about this quotation a lot…and I’m still left with the question: is God a geometrizer or a vivisector?

First, it’s important to realize what those key words mean in order to understand why I am still thinking about this quotation. For “geometrize”, think of geometry, the math of order. Geometry is all about order, relations, properties…it seeks to explain why things work the way they do. Think about all those pain-in-the-neck proofs you had to do…the answer seemed so incredibly obvious, yet for some reason, my math teacher still required me to write, time after time, “Based on the shape/angles equaling 180 degress/equilateral lines, these two are similar because they are both triangles”. “Um, duh” I would think. But still, the pain of doing proofs continued. But remember, it’s about order. Geometry shows that everything has an explainable and purposeful reason for why it is the way it is.

And then there’s vivisection…I read that word and tremble. Vivisection, as defined by my Mac dictionary, is “the practice of performing operations on live animals for the purpose of experimentation or scientific observation”. Ewww. Owww. Vivisection is the idea that though something may have a purpose, it’s painful. Ruthless. Cruel even. Sometimes pointless.

And so Lewis leaves his reader with this thought: “Someone said, I believe, God always geometrizes.’ Supposing the truth were ‘God always vivisects’?” Lewis wrote this book immediately following his wife’s excruciatingly painful death. Some of his entries are hard to read—you can feel his raw emotion as he struggles to understand why a loving God would take away someone he so deeply cared about. And, let me tell you, it hurts to read his entries. Because it forces you to face some of your lingering doubts about God. For me, it is that question, is God a geometrizer or a vivisector? Is there a reason, a purpose, behind life’s pain, or is it just because he enjoys seeing us writhe in pain?

Ultimately, I side with Lewis. God is a geometrizer. But, just like Lewis, it’s been a frustratingly painful journey to that discovery.