to hell with the red wine! pour me some moonshine.

I'm not gonna lay around and whine and moan
Cause somebody done done me wrong.
Don't think for a minute
that I'm gonna sit around and sing some old sad song.
I believe it's half-full, not a half-empty glass.
Every day I wake up knowing it could be my last.

I ain't here for a long time, I'm here for a good time.
So bring on the sunshine, to hell with the red wine!
Pour me some moonshine.
When I'm gone put it in stone: "she left nothin behind".
I ain't here for a long time, I'm here for a good time.


I decided this may become my life theme song.

Last night I had a much awaited chat with d.robe, a man who I appreciate, love and will miss as he steps into the next phase of his life. But d.robe will succeed at anything he attempts to do, because he's amazing. d.robe is one of those friends I can easily bounce back into our wonderful relationship with--we only see each other a few times a year now, but it seems like we were never apart. Conversation flows easily, we understand each other nearly perfectly, he challenges me to be a better me merely by his example, and encourages me more than I could ever thank him for.

When I told d.robe that I was getting ready to come back to Seattle to "settle down", he challenged me asking "but are you really ready to settle down? C.rich, are you actually ready to settle down?" I thought about it and realized: "HECK NO." As I thought about it more, I realized that though I do miss Seattle and I want to make it my home once again, I will never settle down...and when I say "never", I mean, not for a while at least. My heart is too wild, my imagination too vivid, and my passion for knowledge unquenchable. It's a blessing and a curse of my family. My twin brother is the same way...we are always seeking. I mean, c'mon, I read about sharks while I'm bored in class, just to learn whatever random knowledge I can.

So this conversation set my brain to a new path and lots of memories arose. My dad once told me that I am just like the NASA Space Shuttle Challenger. He said that I had potential but I "too often waited for others to punch the button to launch." Mr. Ian, one of the most influential teachers I've ever had, told me something similar: "you don't seize opportunities to lead, but you will step up to the plate if you sense you're needed." Well, in classic-Charlotte-fashion, I've been thinking about those comments quite a lot and for a few years.

I've realized that these comments challenged me to grow. I am a patient person, but I'm no longer the type of woman who will sit and wait for things to happen to me...I've started to seize every opportunity that comes. Example? Grad school. Moving across the country for two years. Road trip to CT to look at a book? Sure, why not?

Now, I understand that this may not be a big deal for most people....other people are probably more spontaneous than I am, and are used to this. But for me--this is a big change. I've made a lot of big changes in my life these past few years, and I love it. I do miss my friends and family and home in Washington State, but I love what I'm doing. I love exploring new states, new cities, places I've only heard and dreamed about. I feel free to dream. But unlike before, I don't want to just dream. I want to do. I want to go. So I will. And I am.